Where you lead me, I will follow...

Europe Trip

2009-08-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

To view Marissa's and my blog of our Europe adventures go to: www.mbneurope.blogspot.com
enjoy :)

Time for Goodbye!

2009-06-28T17:27:00.000-07:00

“Christ has no body now on earth but yours,
no hands but yours,
no feet but yours:
Yours are the eyes through which he is to look with compassion on the world,
Yours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good,
And yours are the hands with which he is to bless us now.” (St. Teresa of Avila)

My year has finally come to an end at Bethany. :( The last month went by soo quickly I can hardly believe it’s over already! It was a good last month though, I couldn’t have asked for anything better. Everyone at work was really great with sending me out and the residents were a huge encouragement as well with all their thanks. Last Wednesday we all went out to the park and played frisbee, basketball, football and hung out for my going away party. Staff and residents were invited and we had a fun afternoon in the sun.

I have been extremely blessed by the people I have met this year through bible study, church, my flat, and at work. And knowing that my time was running out, I was very conscious this past month with digging deeper into those relationships and loving them as much as I could before I had to leave (not to say the love won’t continue once I do leave). Whether it was going to the Opera for the first time, the Edinburgh Film Festival, sharing a coffee in the back garden of the centre, trying to learn guitar with the residents, going to the Frenzy concert and singing praises with the Bethany guys, exploring the tree house community in Edinburgh (pictures will be posted at a later date), discussing theology and bible stories, listening to life stories, or sharing a meal, I’ve enjoyed every minute of my time with them.

I think it may be kind of weird going home. Not weird in a bad way, just different. Living here, I’ve learned a lot about myself and I have gotten used to a way of life that is different than what life was like growing up. My challenge will be learning how to merge my life in Scotland with living in America again. I never would have thought I’d love working and living here so much but I know now that a huge part of my heart will always be in Edinburgh once I leave.

As for my future, it is completely in God’s hands. In about 6 hours I’m flying to Barcelona to meet my best friend Marissa Seuc. We will be traveling through Europe for one month together. No plan really-just our EU Railpasses, a guide book, and our packs on our backs! I’m so excited for this adventure and look forward to lots of good convos and exploring different cultures and sites around the world. I’ll return back to Edinburgh 28 July and then fly back to St. Louis on the 5th of August (meet me at the airport, 10:45 pm!! :) ). Hopefully I’ll find a job soon after that, return to university or possibly seminary…. I’m putting complete trust and faith in God that He will guide me in the right direction. His plans are always better than mine anyway!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
Proverbs 3:5

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:11-13

I want to thank you ALL sooo much for your thoughts and prayers throughout my time here. It means a lot to me knowing I have so many people supporting my mission here and encouraging me throughout the year. I can’t wait to see you all once I get home and know that you are in my prayers as well. Love you!!!

Peace.

Christ in Others

2009-06-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

Time is flying by! I cannot believe I am in my last month of serving at Bethany! I’m already feeling very, very sad about leaving this place and the people who have made my year so amazing.

Earlier in May I attended my last TFG+ (Time For God) conference in Oxford, England. Out of all the conferences, this one was by far my favorite. There were altogether 6 TFG+ volunteers there. We stayed in a lovely Christian Retreat Centre in the countryside called Stanton House with the most hospitable people and incredible food! For the 4 days we were there, we each had time to individually prepare a time of worship and devotion to lead the group in, we had group time to talk about what we have learned in the past year, gave presentations on our placements, discussed 20th century martyrs, and talked about where we will go from here. Going punting, walking around the city, eating ice cream, and spending time in the beautiful countryside were other highlights (see pictures).

When I was in Oxford I also had a lot of time to think and reflect about the year on my own time. I was reminded of a comment one of the residents at the centre asked me right before I left. Knowing how much I love my dog Tiger, he asked: “Blair, when you’re at home with your dog, will you still remember us?” I thought he was joking at first but soon realized he wasn’t. The answer to his question seemed so obvious to me-Of course! I will still remember each one of them!! But for him, it’s not so uncommon to see people come and go in his life. His question also made me step back and think about each one of the guys at the centre and how I will remember them because they are all close to my heart and have been some of the best teachers ever…

Stepping out in faith.
One of my jobs at the centre is to take referrals and interview guys who want to come into the centre. I can remember when I first started interviewing. I thought I was scared and nervous until I met the guy who came in. The amount of courage it takes for an addict to take that first step of faith into recovery is massive and so encouraging. I feel incredibly privileged to be one of the first contacts someone has when taking that step.

Grace.
This past month we’ve had one of our long term residents move out of the centre. After going through years of sexual abuse as a child, followed by 14 years of homelessness on the streets and addictions to both alcohol and drugs, he knew there must be more to life. To me, this man is a true testimony of accepting God’s grace. And again, by the grace of God, this now ex-resident will be starting bible college in a couple months!

Forgiveness.
God calls us to forgive others and he will forgive us and he also calls us to love our enemies. Part of the twelve steps to recovery is forgiving and restoring broken relationships. In the past year, a mother has started talking to her son for the first time in years, a child will see his dad for the first time ever, a daughter is now speaking to her father regularly, and an ex-husband is praying for his ex-wife and her new partner who are still caught up in the drug culture. I am absolutely amazed with the genuine feelings of forgiveness and amends I have seen in relationships and attitudes towards those who these guys have hurt or others who have hurt them.

Surrender.
Addiction can leave one feeling completely defeated and helpless. In Romans, Paul writes how we are all sinful, none of us are righteous, and until we accept that and stop blaming others, we won’t get better. Recently one of the guys gave his life back to Christ after walking away for a while. The joy and peace he has now after coming back to God is a reminder to me about how powerful God’s love is when we surrender our lives to him.

Perseverance.
The hardest time to seek God is when we don’t feel like it. We may feel like we put so much in to having a relationship with Him but we hear nothing back. Or, we may feel too doubtful, unworthy or too prideful. Just last week I was listening to one of the residents speak to me about some major things he is struggling with right now in his life. I was humbled to hear his source of strength and hope was persevering through prayer, even when it’s hard and remembering how much God has brought him through already.

Simplicity.
It may sound cliché but sometimes the best things in life are simple and can amount to something huge. A short trip to the nearby beach can brighten someone’s perspective on life. A simple “good morning” or “how are you doing” can reinforce that someone still cares for you when you feel like nobody does. And living life one day at a time can help lighten our burdens.

I could go on and on with short stories about how God is teaching me from these guys but I think I’ll stop here…. :) But I encourage you to look at those around you- family, friends, co-workers, etc- what are you learning from them, how is God working in those relationships?

My last day working at Bethany is the 26th of June. It’s time to savor the last of my days in Scotland.

Blessings to you all,
Peace.

Fix Your Eyes on Jesus

2009-05-06T16:10:00.000-07:00

“…let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…” Hebrews 12:1-2

This verse from Hebrews has been a real encouragement for me this past month or so as life has been full of ups and downs.

I’ve been quite busy working as usual and traveling around a bit. I had a great time visiting Winona (another ELCA volunteer) in Saltburn, England for the weekend. We ran the Redcar Half Marathon together and had a great time catching up and hanging out. I was off work for about a week over Easter because I was sick so it was a huge blessing to be healthy enough to travel to see her and run as well.

I also had the opportunity to participate in the Invisible Children Edinburgh Rescue event with my flatmate Ronnie and my friend Katy. This was an event to raise awareness about the children of Northern Uganda who have been abducted and trained as child soldiers. The event took place in 10 countries and 100 cities all over the world. All cities were “rescued” by media or a celebrity coming to the event so they could spread the news to help get the children of Northern Uganda rescued. Edinburgh had the pleasure of being rescued by Billy Boyd (aka Pippin-one of the Hobbits from Lord of the Rings). Everyone who participated met and slept in the Princess Street Gardens under the Edinburgh Castle for the night-absolutely gorgeous night.

Last week my parents came to visit! It’s been 8 months since I last saw them so we had a blast exploring Scotland together. I was their tour guide around Edinburgh for a couple days but during the week we went to the Isle of Mull, Iona, Dumbarton, Inverary, Loch Lomond, Glasgow, and Stirling. Dad did a great job of driving our rental car on the opposite side of the road with the steering wheel on the opposite side of the car as well! We saw a lot of castles, cathedrals, sheep, hills and Celtic culture. I was happy to introduce them to my family I’ve made here in Edinburgh too. The day they left, Dad and I ran the largest race in Edinburgh together called the Bupa Great Edinburgh 10k Run. It was an awesome experience to run through such a beautiful city with 10,000 other runners and a great way to end the week!

In between the visits and events though I find myself somewhat lost. Recently a lot of my friends both here in Scotland and back home are going through a rough time. Whether it’s domestic violence, death of a loved one, illness, injuries, or spiritual emptiness, it’s hard to know what to say or understand why they have to go through so much pain. And while it is difficult and we do feel lost sometimes when these things happen, one thing I’ve learned at the centre is that we have to keep going. Life doesn’t slow down so we have to keep running the race. As Hebrews says, we have to “fix our eyes on Jesus” and believe that he can carry us through anything this world brings us. It is my prayer that each of us can grow and learn through hardships and that we may have the perseverance to run this race of life with our eyes focused on the Lord-in the good and bad times.

Peace and God Bless.

Sunshine on Leith

2009-04-06T16:30:00.001-07:00

It’s finally getting a little bit warmer, flowers and trees are starting to bloom and there is even a little bit of “Sunshine on Leith” in between the rainy days. This past month I’ve enjoyed a lot of time outside running, cycling, reading, visiting the beach, and just walking around beautiful Edinburgh. (If you haven’t heard of the song “Sunshine on Leith,” it’s a great song written in the 1980’s by the Scottish band, The Proclaimers. They also wrote “I Would Walk 500 Miles,” maybe you know that one better. :) )

Leith, the part of Edinburgh I live in and where Bethany Centre is located, has not always been known as the “sunny” side of town though. Leith is recognized mainly as the major port access for Edinburgh but after World War II the docks underwent severe decline. Post war, there was debate to whether some areas of Leith would become industrial or residential and the culture ended up being deprived. It became known for its roughness, prostitution, and drug sub-culture.

Across the street from what is now known as Bethany Centre there is a church called “South Leith Baptist” where Alan Berry was the pastor in the 1970's. Because of the poor condition Leith had become Berry was constantly being confronted by the needs of homeless and vulnerable people who came to the church in need of food, shelter, and money. He felt challenged by the people he was meeting and what he was teaching at the pulpit about feeding the hungry and clothing the naked.

After much prayer, Alan and his wife Anne, along with 2 other friends, became trustees and founders of the Bethany Christian Trust. The original plan was just to open a Christian hostel but finding a suitable and affordable building was difficult and came with many disappointments. Finally, they found the perfect place right across the street from the church: 6 Casselbank Street. While it used to be a night club and then a commercial hotel, through Bethany, the beautiful 150 year old Georgian building became “a place of quiet rest” just like the biblical Bethany. On 4th April 1983 Bethany was opened for business.

Fast forwarding through the rest of the history, 6 Casselbank Street eventually became what it is today: a supported community for men, a Christian recovery centre. 2008 marked the 25th anniversary of Bethany Christian Trust and has expanded greatly since it first began. Now offering a wide range of services, the centre is just one piece of the puzzle. (Check out my “What is Bethany anyway?” post to see the full range of services)

I find the story of Bethany’s history to be encouraging and an awesome testimony of how God can use one man’s vision to do something great.

Alan Berry has a great story to tell but every person has their own story as well. One of my favorite things about working at Bethany is being able to listen to and learn about the story of each guy who comes into the centre. I wish I could introduce you to each person and share with you their individual story and how they've grown but I think that would be considered a breach of confidentiality… From homelessness to wealthy lifestyles, abusive families or Christian homes, generations of addiction to first generation addicts, they are all different while they all long for the same thing: freedom.

Praise God that Bethany helps over 3,000 vulnerable people each year to get their lives back on track. May we never take for granted His power and blessings. Please pray that God’s light will continue to shine upon Bethany, all the service users and the staff.

“Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

Thoughts...

2009-04-06T16:05:00.000-07:00

Below are some thoughts form Archbishop Oscar Romero that all the YAGMs received at our training in Chicago before we left for our countries of service. I think what it says is so important to remember and I’ve found them very helpful this year while serving at the centre.

“It helps now and then to step back and take a long view. The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision.

We accomplish in our lifetime only a small fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work. Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the kingdom always lies beyond us.

No statement says all that could be said. No prayer fully expresses our faith. No confession brings perfection. No pastoral visit brings wholeness. No program accomplishes the Church’s mission. No set of goals and objectives includes everything.

This is what we are about:
We plant seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise. We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that produces effects far beyond our capabilities

We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it well. It may be incomplete but it is a beginning, a step along the way, and opportunity for the lord’s grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker. We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.”

-Archbishop Oscar Romero
(Murdered on 24 March 1980, El Salvador)

Day to Day

2009-03-06T10:49:00.000-08:00

It’s been a good month for me in Edinburgh. I’ve been sitting here trying to think of one nice story to be able to share with you all that could sum it up but I’ve come to the conclusion that it has been good because I’m simply enjoying day to day life. So here’s some random stuff I’ve been up to and thinking about… :)

We’ve been busy at the centre restoring the TV room upstairs. I was excited my years of going to work camps came in handy! We took out the carpet and polished the original wood floors underneath. We also painted the walls and put some nice photography up. New curtains, pillows, and tele too! This is the room we have devotions, groups, and staff meetings in so it’s been nice to have a fresh new look in a room we spend so much time in. The centre is a very old house that used to be a bed in breakfast back in thes day. It hadn’t been redone for a REALLY long time so it was much needed and a huge blessing (especially during this credit crunch!!).

I’ve had a couple more run-ins on the street with random people -some who are looking for money and others who have just had a bit too much to drink. I’ve come to really appreciate my cell phone and have learned not to leave my flat without it. It doesn’t seem too uncommon these days to call 999 (emergency). I’m not sure if this is because I’ve just become more aware of people around me and seeing the reality of living in a city or if it’s just the time of year. Whatever it is, I’m happy to be of assistance!

This past month we said good bye to one of our residents who had been in the centre the longest out of any of the current residents. He was there for about a year and has since moved in to his own flat. He is doing great and will soon be moving to America to get married and live. I think we all miss his since of humor and the joy he brought to the house but are most definitely SO proud of him! What an encouragement and testimony he has to share now with the rest of the guys.

Another one of the residents who recently moved in has just started the groups. He has been to the centre before and gone through the 12 step program for recovery but has just recently accepted and completed step 1: We have admitted we are powerless over our addiction and our lives have become unmanageable. Keith Miller, the author of the book “A Hunger for Healing,” says: “people in the Twelve-Step programs know that until you’re hurting enough, the steps won’t work for you. But for the fortunate sufferer, there comes a time when he or she says, “I’ve got to get well. I can’t stand living like this anymore.” And that is when one is ready for the miracles of the Twelve Steps.” I find so much truth in that quote and really see it is a miracle for guys to accept and believe in each step.

On a different note-with all the deep thoughts, self reflecting, learning, analyzing life situations, experiences, in depth conversations, questions, and seriousness going on in the centre, the staff team recognizes the healing power laughter and fun have in recovery. Whether we’re drawing fake glasses on our faces with black markers, dancing in the kitchen while doing the dishes, playing pool, singing praise songs, going out on day trips, or just sitting around laughing at everyday things that turn funny, we like to have a good time!

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Kenny

2009-02-01T14:11:00.000-08:00

Hello, Hello again! January has been a month full of moving around and traveling. It’s been crazy and tiring but at the same time, it’s what I love to do!

I welcomed the first of the New Year in with 2 great friends of mine from Mizzou (Chiara and Vanessa) who came to Scotland for a visit! In a weeks time the three of us traveled all through the beautiful highlands of Scotland. Starting in Edinburgh, then to Pitlochry, up to Inverness, and then down to Loch Ness (unfortunately we didn’t see the monster). Next we went up to the Isle of Skye and then back down to Edinburgh! We got a great deal with the bus company to take us all around, stayed at some lovely youth hostels, met some other fun travelers, went on some amazing walks, saw a lot of sheep, brilliant castles, distilleries, and we and laughed A TON! I was also able to bring them to Bethany where they were warmly welcomed by both staff and residents. It was great to be able to share with them what I’ve been up to over here and have them meet some of the people I have grown so close to.

One week later I was in Wales for my second conference with Time for God. While it was fun to meet up with other UK volunteers to hang out and share experiences, I was feeling really anxious to get back to Edinburgh by the end of the week. Mostly because I think being away from the centre for so long (especially after a weeks holiday prior to the conference) made me really miss it! I was feeling pretty disconnected from the guys lives and couldn’t wait to catch up and get back in my normal routine at the centre.

On top of that, the whole week my mind kept coming back to what happened the night before I left for the conference. It was about 8:30pm and I needed to head up to the bus station to pick up another volunteer who is working up north as we were traveling together to the conference the next day. Because it was extremely windy, cold, and rainy, I decided it would be a good idea just to take the bus up the street (even though it’s only about a 15 minute walk to the main station!).

I was a little annoyed when I got off a stop too early and had to walk the rest of the way because I was almost late already. As I quickly treaded up the street I passed 3 homeless people all sitting together on the sidewalk. I couldn’t help but notice the man sitting in the middle of 2 others under a blanket. His eyes were glazed over, he was drooling a bit from his mouth and he wasn’t responding well to the other 2 who were trying to speak to him. Considering this man did not look well at all and the weather was absolutely horrible, I thought I would stop and chat with them to make sure everything was okay and to see if they had a place to stay that night. We chatted for a short while but they were not interested in the night shelter provided through Bethany and they assured me more than once that everything would be fine with their friend, he was just feeling sick. “Ok” I thought, “I guess that’s all I can do for now.” I left.

About 5 steps later I turned around again. Something definitely didn’t feel right. I asked if I could call anyone for them; the police maybe or an ambulance? After a couple times of asking they agreed it would probably be a good idea if I dialed 999 emergency so this man (Kenny) could see a doctor. I was very happy to do so. The phone call went through right away and they said they would be there soon. Unfortunately, right as I hung up the phone the two people on the ground next to Kenny were afraid they couldn’t feel his heart beat. They started to panic.

At this point I started getting really scared as well. I’ve been certified in CPR for almost 8 years now but I’ve never had to use it. Fortunately that night I didn’t have to either. I don’t believe Kenny ever stopped breathing fully but just to make sure I bent down to try and check for a pulse. Thankfully I heard him groaning very quietly but he definitely seemed to be getting worse quickly. Still scared, I dialed 999 again and started asking for help from people who were passing by on the street. One lady who seemed about my age stopped and I gave my phone to her to speak as I had heard a recorder tell me twice not to hang up and I was “in a queue waiting to speak to emergency personnel!” I kneeled back down to try and calm down Kenny’s friends but really had no idea what to do or say that could calm them down at this point so I just prayed for Kenny. I could hear the sirens in the distance soon after. Thank God!

I stayed around long enough just to speak to one of Kenny’s friends for a while longer but left to pick my friend up who was waiting for me at the bus station. I never heard exactly what Kenny’s problem was but from the looks of him, and from how the care provider dealt with him, it seemed as if he had overdosed.

I share this story with you not to glorify myself or make you feel bad for people on the streets. I shared it with you because that situation is not one that happens to me everyday but it does happen every day. It shows how God can use us when we least expect it, when we don’t feel prepared and even when we are scared out of our minds.

The crazy thing is, before this even happened, it had been on my heart earlier on in the month to do more street work in Edinburgh because homelessness is a huge issue here. Without me telling that to anyone my small group leader spoke about it as well at our cell group (bible study) the next week. He had already lined up for us to get some training from an addiction support worker through Bethany. And come to find out, prior to the Addiction workers agreement to train us or even knowing we were interested, he had recently organized a training program on working with people in the streets and was praying for a group to share it with! I think God is definitely calling out for us to DO SOMETHING!

Life is good. Peace and God Bless.

**When I speak about “street work” I’m not talking about handing out money or going out to try and convert people to be Christian. I’m just talking about talking to real people, getting to know them, sharing stories, going out with the Bethany care van at night to give out hot tea and rolls, helping out with the night shelter, calling ambulances….stuff like that :) **

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-30T18:01:00.000-08:00

Merry, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all!!

Edinburgh during the holidays is absolutely beautiful. The city centre has turned into a winter wonderland with blue lights covering the trees, colorful carnival rides lining the streets, Christmas markets, delightful food, ice skating in the Princess Gardens outside the castle, and constant Christmas music filling the air.

At the beginning of the month my friend Drew Schmidt just so happened to be in the UK so he came up to Edinburgh for a couple days to visit and experience the city during the pre-holiday festivities. Check out my Picasso pictures to see some pictures of our adventures-traveling to castles, cafes, and hills around Sterling and Edinburgh. I was so excited to be able to share a little bit of my life I’ve made here with a good friend from back home.

For me, Christmas time has always been a joyful time spent with close family and friends- Coming together after a busy semester at college, taking time off work, celebrating Jesus, decorating the tree, going to church on Christmas eve, playing games, baking Christmas cookies, and buying gifts. And while I love spending Christmas this way, and I missed it quite a bit, I saw Christmas in a new light this year.

I spent most of Christmas Eve and Christmas day working at Bethany with the guys. And for most of them, they remember their Christmas season pretty much the complete opposite of mine. It’s a dangerous time, a day of drinking, no family to spend it with, or no family they would want to spend it with, decorations and Christmas carols become annoying quickly, and no one can really “be bothered” with going to church. And to follow up Christmas, the day after (known as Boxing day) is the biggest day to gamble in the country.

I was nervous to say the least of how the guys would handle the holidays. For the past two weeks they have not had any groups or formal meetings as we want to give them a break over Christmas and the New Year. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. Good because they are able to totally relax but bad in a sense that too much relaxation can make one feeling extremely bored and frustrated with too much time. I know it has been a struggle for them but at the same time when I look around at each one of them, I know they are in a safe place at Bethany.

Bethany is a place where guys are able to live in a community together with common struggles. It is a place filled with people who want to listen to them and encourage them and it is a place where God’s love is overflowing.

This Christmas I was humbled and honored to be able to support and give to the guys at the centre. Although I was absolutely exhausted after cooking a meal for 20 and wrapping their gifts, it was a blessing from God to be able to shed a little bit of Jesus light onto them.

Please pray for their guidance and protection during this vulnerable time.

"Life in community is no less than a necessity for us, an inescapable 'must'... all life created by God exists in communal order and works toward community." -- Eberhard Arnold

I hope your Christmas was filled with the joy of the spirit.

Love and Peace to you all in the New Year.

Dance within the Storm

2008-11-30T02:41:00.000-08:00

November quickly came and went for me in Edinburgh. It seems a lot has happened in a short time period since I last updated. On top of the American elections and thanksgiving, a couple UK holidays were this month as well: Remembrance day and Guy Fawkes day (aka Bonfire night).

Guy Fawkes day is celebrated annually the night of November 5th with fireworks and bonfires. On this day in 1605 a number of Catholic conspirators, including Guy Fawkes, attempted and failed to blow up the Houses of Parliment in London, England. I found in Edinburgh that fireworks were set off throughout the week, including the backyard of Bethany Centre :).

Remembrance day is a day also known as Veterans day in the US. It is a day to commemorate the sacrifices of members of the armed forces and of civilians in the times of war, specifically since the first World War. Major hostilities of WWI were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918. Wee poppy pins were worn by most people and sold outside major stores in Britain.

My thanksgiving this year was spent down in Saltburn, England, a very small town south of Newcastle. My flatmate, Maria, and I went to celebrate with another ELCA volunteer, Winona. It was great to see Winona again and see how she is spending her year in England. Over 50 people from her church and community came together for an American Thanksgiving for the first time in Saltburn. It was awesome to be able to share such a special holiday and fellowship with them.

Life at the centre has been, well, up and down. Many guys have moved out, some successfully, others, not so successfully. There have been a lot of new interviews and referals this past month as the centre is almost completely full with 17 residents. Our goal is to be full by Christmas time which will not be a problem at all and I’m sure will happen soon.

With all the busyness going on, it has become a daily prayer for me to continually ask God to give me the strength for each day. Below is a poem I want to share with you. I find it very encouraging and read it quite frequently as well:

“Do not retreat into your private world,
That place of safety, sheltered from the storm,
Where you may tend your garden, seek your soul,
And rest with loved ones where the fire burns warm.

To tend a garden is a precious thing,
But dearer still the one where all may roam,
The weeds of poison, poverty, and war,
Demand your care, who call the earth your home.

To seek your soul is a precious thing,
But you will never find it on your own,
Only among the clamor, threat, and pain
Of other people’s need will love be known.

To rest with loved ones is a precious thing,
But peace of mind exacts a higher cost,
Your children will not rest and play in quiet,
While they still hear the crying of the lost.

Do not retreat into your private world,
There are more ways than firesides to keep warm;
There is no shelter from the rage of life,
So meet its eye, and dance within the storm.”

Kathy Galloway
Iona Community, Scotland

I love this poem because it really expresses a lot of my feelings with coming to the UK and leaving what is comfortable. And because of that I have come to know God in a way I never have before. Since I’ve been here people keep asking me if I have culture shock, what is the biggest difference is between where I come from and where I am now? And to answer honestly, getting past the language barrier, the biggest culture shock to me is the population I am working with. I feel like God has given me a good kick in the bum and said, “Blair, here I am! Here I am a midst the pain, depression, lonliness, boredom, anxiety, temptation and cravings. Here I am the men who are fighting a battle to find new life and to overcome a history of shame and abuse.”

Just last week some of the residents and I had the honor of attending a baptism for one of the guys staying at the centre. It was most definitely one of the coolest things I’ve done since I’ve been here. There were 9 baptisms that took place that night. Each person took turns telling their testimony and then they were fully emersed in the baptismal water. I was so proud of the our Bethany resident who boldly stood in front of a huuuuge congregation and told his story(which was quite different than the rest of the middle class, young, lads). It was awesome to see the amount of courage he had to be completely real, talking about where he came from and his past life and how God has freed him from that.

He has come face to face with the rages of life, now dancing within the storm.

This week I listened to a sermon about the brokenness of the human condition. I was again reminded, it is through the cracks in life that God shines through brightly and it is through his grace we are all held together.

Choose Joy

2008-11-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

Happy late Halloween!
I’m a little late with my October update but there has definitely been a lot going on!

Towards the beginning of the month I was able to do some traveling outside of Edinburgh for the first time which was brilliant! Some friends of mine and I rented a car and headed up north to the highlands. We stayed the night in Fort William and climbed Ben Nevis the next morning. Ben Nevis is the tallest mountain in the United Kingdom. And when I say it’s the tallest mountain, I mean 4,406 ft. Not too high when compared to mountains in Colorado! We made it to the top in about 3 hours, had some lunch in the snow, and then headed back down in the sunshine.

The next day, because we still had the car rented, we drove the cost of Fife and ended up in St. Andrews. We walked around the university, which is absolutely beautiful, and I was also able to see where golf first began. I’m sure that would have been a bit more exciting if I enjoyed golf. But I took pictures for all of you out there who would find that interesting :). Although the trip was just for a short weekend, it was so refreshing to get out of the city and see how beautiful Scotland really is.

A couple weeks ago I also headed down south to London for my first Time for God conference. I am in the TFG+ program which is a more focused mentoring program than the larger TFG program. There were about 8 volunteers there, 5 of which are also part of the ELCA’s Young Adults in Global Mission program. It was so nice to see my friends from America again and it was awesome listening to their stories about their placements so far.

Through out my week in London we talked a lot about vocation and calling. It was good and also got me thinking about some questions: What does it mean to be called by God? How did God call people in the bible? How does God call me? Do I feel called to be where I am?

One quote that I heard over the week described a calling as “where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.” I really like that quote but then I realized that even when God called Moses in the bible, he wasn’t too keen on going at first, it definitely was not his deepest gladness. God called him to free the Israelites out of slavery and Moses kept making excuses as to why he was not willing! But he went anyway, God gave him everything that he needed and answers to all of his concerns.

I continue to question why God has called me to this place. As I mentioned in my last post, this is my first time working with addicts and it has been a bit of a rollercoaster finding my purpose at Bethany. And just like Moses, I don’t always feel adequate enough, I don’t always know what to say or what not to say, I don’t always know how to cope with hearing about tragedies and relapses. But God put me here anyway. And I know he is shaping my character and teaching me things while I am here but I need to learn how to listen to him more and figure out what he is telling me.

Some days I feel my calling here is clearer than other days. For example, a couple days ago I went in to work wearing a shirt that said “JOY” on it. Little did I know it would have such an effect on people. Several of the staff and residents told me the shirt was fitting to my personality and thanked me for being able to make them smile and bring joy into the centre. I was caught off guard by there responses but happy to share the spirit in such a simple way. By the end of the day “Joy” had become my nickname.

If everyday was as joyful as that then maybe it wouldn’t be so hard for me to feel like I have a purpose and a specific calling for each day. But I’m learning and trying to listen and seek God just as Elijah does in 1 Kings 19:11-13 and obey just as Moses did.

Hope you are all healthy and well.

Peace and God bless.

We're All In This Together

2008-09-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

It’s always an interesting conversation when people ask me who I’m working with: Men, ages 17-70, struggling and fighting to overcome an addiction, many who are homeless before coming in, abused, or might have a criminal record. When I first heard I was working with this type of population, I was a bit nervous myself.

I was also intimidated. Not because I was afraid to talk to them, but because I couldn’t help but think: “how would I be able to relate to them? What do I have to offer? Why would any of them want to talk to a 23 year old American Girl who has never had any experience with addiction and recovery work at all?” Sure, I studied social work in college but this is so much different than reading about theories and practices in a text book!

Fortunately though, from the moment I walked into that centre, God has given me peace with where I am and I could immediately see Him working in so many hearts of the guys who are there. Ever since my first day, I have felt nothing but welcomed into the centre and I have learned so much. I know God has given us all different gifts to use in his service, and I am honored to be able to serve him in whatever way I can here. I always think we would both (the residents and I) be able to relate so much better if I had struggled with an addiction myself. But I have learned that even though I haven’t, I have experienced what it means to depend on something, or someone, I have felt pain, loneliness, bitterness, anger, and hopelessness. And by the grace of God, I am also able to share what it means to love and depend on someone and something so much greater than anything else-the freedom of a faith and hope in Jesus! :)

A typical day for me is 8 hours (once a week I do a sleepover with another member of staff). When I arrive the staff and I have what we call a “handover” where we are informed about what each resident has been up to on the previous shift and how they are doing. After that, we have bible study with the residents-we sing a few songs and then study the word. The devotions always reflect and encourage guys in their recovery. Monday through Friday they have groups where all the guys gather to discuss and learn about the steps through recovery and share different experiences. Lunch then follows (made by one of the residents). Throughout the day, many of the guys have one-on-one meetings with their “keyworker” to talk about practical matters (volunteer work, helping them find a flat once they’re ready to move out, any issues within the centre, etc). We also have an addiction worker who meets with each resident about once a week to counsel them individually. Most nights there is an activity-football (soccer), quiz night, praise night, or a pool competition.

I also spend a lot of time “holding the fort” or working in the main office. There, I answer the phone, take referrals, hang out with the residents, and hand out medications or petty cash. I’ve really enjoyed my time “holding the fort” because it gives me a chance to get to know the residents and their story on a more informal basis.

So far the biggest struggle for me has been seeing one of the residents leave after only being in for a little over two weeks. He arrived not long after I came to Bethany so it was nice talking to someone else who also was “new.” Unfortunately though he decided he wasn’t ready for recovery and wanted to leave after already attempting to go a couple times earlier on in the week.

It was hard for me to see him go but the more I thought about it I began to feel like there was hope that he will come back one day. It’s not easy for anyone to accept the fact that by coming to recovery they need to give up their dependency, their old friends, their hobby, and their previous life.

The fact is, God does not love you or I anymore than he loves anyone else in this world. We all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). We’re all in this together, not one of us better than another. We fall down and we have to get back up again. It may take a couple of times to get something right but the good news is God is with us through it all and he will NEVER give up on any of us.

Please pray for the men staying at Bethany Christian Centre.
Romans 12:12- “Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying.”

What is Bethany anyway?

2008-09-25T15:12:00.000-07:00

First month down! As I sit back and reflect on my time here in Edinburgh so far, I can’t help but praise God for all he has given me. I’m attending a bible study every Tuesday where I have met some great friends, going to work everyday is something I look forward to, and being surrounded by an environment that I’m not quite used to yet excites me!

Since my last update I have been through about 3 weeks of induction at the centre which in turn has helped me quite a bit in understanding the extent of what Bethany Christian Trust does for Edinburgh. Just to clear things up a bit, I’ll give you the break down because it is a really awesome organization! It offers 7 levels of care within Edinburgh:

1. Street Work- Nightly food, blankets and clothing; drop in centres providing basic support, addiction and housing advice
2. Emergency Accommodation (Bethany House)-Resettlement Hostel
3. Specialist Units
-Bethany Centre (this is where I work)-residential addictions unit for men
-Matthew House-resettlement hostel for young men
-Martha House-supported hostel for young women
4. Supported Housing
5. Home Furniture Provision- furniture for people who are on low income
6. Community Education- Bridging the gap between homeless services and formal education; Supporting vulnerable people through formal education; Facilitating volunteering and employment opportunities
7. Community Integration- Providing networks and skills to prevent homelessness Employment, apprenticeships and volunteering placements

Bethany is great because it’s the type of organization that is intervening at all levels of poverty and helping people break the cycle, allowing them to live on their own as an active member of the community. It’s also completely God centered but not restricting to anyone who wants to come in who is not a Christian.

Working at the centre-The staff is friendly and very hospitable. They are all super funny and down-to-earth which makes for a fun and family-like atmosphere.

Pretty cool, eh?

First week!

2008-09-02T15:25:00.000-07:00

Family and Friends, Welcome to my blog! This is where you can find my monthly updates.

As most of you already know, I am in Edinburgh, Scotland for the next year with the ELCA Lutheran Church's-Young Adults in Global Mission (YAGM). I am also here through a program called Time For God (TFG) which YAGM partners with. TFG places volunteers all around the United Kingdom. My placement is at Bethany Christian Centre where I will be working on the recovery side of things as men are overcoming addictions. The centre provides access to a Christian recovery program including structured group work, one-to-one support, recreation, work activities and training opportunities.

I have been here in Edinburgh for a week now. Prior to coming I was in Chicago for a week with the rest of the YAGMs doing training for our year abroad. Other young adults are spending their year all over the world-Kenya, South Africa, Jeruselum/West Bank, India, Slovakia, Argentina, Uruguay, Mexico, and the UK (mostly in England). Like I said, I am in Scotland and to be honest, this is the last place I thought I would end up after I applied. I thought for sure I would be somewhere in Africa because of my experience there but I guess that's not where God wanted me. And I'm okay with that! So far I love Edinburgh and I am overjoyed to start this next year learning about my purpose here and how God will use me.

The past couple weeks have been packed with saying goodbye to family and friends, forming new relationships, learning about a new culture, how to understand the Scottish accent, and adapting to different accommodation and lifestyle. While it has all been a bit tiring, I feel a lot more prepared with coming into this experience after the week in Chicago. We talked a lot about what it means to be a missionary and how we as young adults should go about being a missionary in the 21st century by having a "ministry of presence." Basically, this is more relationship based rather than preaching on the streets and forcing faith on someone.

I am now living in a flat with 4 others who are working at Bethany as well. We come from all over the place-Northern Ireland, Sweden, Tanzania, Uganda, and me, the American. The next two weeks we all have more induction stuff but after that we should be on more of a normal schedule and I'll be able to tell you more about what my job will be! All in all, I'm happy to be here and so blessed to have you all supporting me! Peace and God bless!!

If you feel like sending me some mail...my address is :)

313/6 Leith Walk
Edinburgh, Scotland
EH6 8SA